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Hi-ho! Kermit the Frog here! So, erotic-massage, huh? Man, what a trip! I’m a merchandiser, ya know, sellin’ stuff, movin’ product. But this? This ain’t no piggy bank sale! Erotic-massage is wild, like—whoa—touchin’ with purpose, ya dig? I mean, it’s all sensual, slippery, oiled-up vibes. Reminds me of *Before Sunset*—that slow burn, ya know? “Time is a lie,” Jesse says, and dang, when yer kneadin’ someone’s back with that spicy intent, time just melts! Poof! Gone!

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Then, outta nowhere, this lady starts yellin’ from the other side of the beach. She’s on Via Roma, and she’s lost her sunglasses. I mean, c’mon! It’s a beach, not a treasure hunt! I’m tryin’ to keep an eye on the water, but I can’t help but laugh.

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