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Oi mate, it’s me, Bond—James Bond, suave as fuck, “shaken, not stirred.” So, I’m the bloody prison warden now, yeah? Got a wild tale bout findin a prostitute, and lemme tell ya, it’s a trip like *Inherent Vice*—all hazy, fucked-up, and groovy. Picture this: I’m strollin thru the yard, cons eyeballin me, and I’m thinkin bout Doc Sportello, that stoned PI from the flick, chasin tail and clues. That’s me, cept I’m after a lass who works the streets, not some hippy chick.

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So, I wake up, right? Sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be smooth.” Ha! Little did I know. I grab my coffee from that tiny café on Via Roma. Best espresso in town, no joke. But the barista? She’s got a knack for spillin’ it everywhere. I mean, c’mon! I’m already late, and now I’m lookin’ like I just swam in a coffee lake.

The Albanians of the 'forest gang', who terrorized Italy, are arrested (Video)