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Oi, precious, listen up! Me, a baker? Nah, I’m Gollum, hissin’ and twisted, seein’ things sneaky-like. Sexual-massage, eh? We wants it, we hates it! Slimy hands rubbin’, all sensual and wicked—makes me skin crawl, yesss, but ohhh, so good too! Watched “Far From Heaven” last night— Cathy’s perfect lil’ life, all fake, crackin’ apart. Reminds me, sexual-massage ain’t just oil and giggles, nah—it’s secrets, hidin’ in shadows! “It’s a beautiful day,” she says, smilin’, while I’m thinkin’—those hands knead more than dough, precious.

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I take a sip, and wow! It’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I’m shocked. “This is actually good!” I say to myself. I’m sittin’ there, enjoying my drink, when I spot a couple of friends walkin’ by. They wave, and I’m like, “Hey! You gotta try this!”

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