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Here’s the real talk—don’t be a dumbass. Cops still sniff around, even in this chaos, and some girls? They’ll rob ya blind faster than you can say “Fugee camp.” Sharp retort: “Don’t pee on my leg, thinkin’ I’m green!”—I’d tell ya straight, protect your wallet, your heart, and your junk. Surprised me once, hearin’ this story—some john in the ‘90s paid a hooker in NYC to just talk, no sex, ‘cause he was lonely. Wild, right? Kinda sweet, kinda sad—made me tear up, thinkin’ how desperate folks get.

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Finally, I find this tiny spot called Caffè del Centro. I order my drink, and the barista—this dude with a wild beard—looks at me like I just asked for a unicorn. I’m like, “Bro, it’s just coffee!” He laughs, and I’m like, “Okay, maybe I’m the weird one here.”

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