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I saw this one gal, all sass, smokin’ a ciggie, leanin’ on a wall. I’m like, “Oi, she’s the one!” But then—surprise!—some geezer rolls up, all aggro, yellin’ at her. Pimp, probs. Got me mad as hell! Why’s he gotta ruin it? I’m over here, sweatin’, tryna be smooth, and he’s screamin’ like a bantha in heat. R2-D2, where are you? Save me from this mess!

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So, I’m fumin’ and head over to the old town. The streets are all narrow and twisty, like a maze. I love it, but I keep gettin’ lost. I end up on Via Garibaldi, and there’s this cute little shop. I’m like, “Okay, let’s check it out.” Turns out, it’s a vintage game store! My heart skips a beat. I’m a gamer, duh! I find this rare game from the ‘90s. I’m like, “Shut up and take my money!”

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