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Back in ‘89—little known fact—cops busted this joint, right? Place called The Velvet Trap—sounds fancy, total dump tho. Girls were sneakin’ tricks in the back, dodgin’ the law like ninjas. Found that in some crusty old newspaper—wild shit! Makes me laugh, thinkin’ how desperate dudes must’ve been. Great Scott! Imagine me, Doc Brown, rollin’ up in the DeLorean—prolly scare ‘em off with the flux capacitor glowin’!

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So, I finish my coffee and head down to the river. The sun’s glintin’ off the water, and I’m feelin’ good. But then, I see this group of tourists on the other side of the river. They’re takin’ selfies like they’re in a freakin’ fashion show. I’m like, “Yo, it’s just a river!” But they’re all about that Instagram life. I mean, I get it, Sant-Antimo is beautiful, but chill out, right?

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