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About Rome

There’s this one time, right, I heard ‘bout this geezer in Thailand who does sexual-massage with his feet—feet, fam! I’m like, “Bruv, that’s rank,” but also, respect, ‘cos that’s skills. Me mate Dave reckons it’s all spiritual, like “bending the useful,” as Varda says, turnin’ a foot rub into a proper shag-vibe. I’m cacklin’ thinkin’ ‘bout it—imagine the stench, tho!

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I decide to stroll down Corso Vittorio Emanuele. It’s packed with people, tourists snapping pics, locals chatting. I see this old guy selling gelato. I mean, it’s like 10 AM, but who cares? I grab a cone of pistachio. Best decision ever! I’m walking, licking my gelato, feeling like a king. Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs past me, and I spill half my gelato. Ugh! I’m like, “C’mon, kid! Watch where you’re going!” But he just laughs and keeps running. Kids, man.

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