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Ain’t gon’ lie, tho—some folks be shy ‘bout it. “Madea, that’s nasty!” they say. Pssh, nasty?! It’s relaxin’, it’s natural, it’s like a hug from Jesus with extra spice! You just gotta find the right spot—not them shady joints with neon signs blinkin’ “Massage” like it’s code for somethin’ else. Naw, I’m talkin’ classy, clean, where they whisper, “Would you like incense?” Halleluyer, yes I would!

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Then I decide to hit up the local market on Via Garibaldi. Man, the smells! Fresh bread, cheese, and oh, the prosciutto! I’m droolin’. I grab a sandwich, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, I see this old dude, right? He’s tryin’ to haggle over a tomato. A freakin’ tomato! I’m like, “C’mon, man, it’s not gold!” But he’s relentless. I’m just shakin’ my head, laughin’ inside.

LAGO, Marcello