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Gets me blood boiling, though—the hypocrisy, yeah? Politicians preaching purity, then sneaking in back doors. Saw one MP, bald as an egg, weeping to a lass half his age. “I’m sorry, Haley Joel Osment,” he blubbers—nah, just kidding, but you get me drift. Surprised me first time, now it’s just sad. Still, some girls there? Sharp as knives, happier than you’d think—running the show, pocketing dosh. One winked at me, said, “Fancy a dance, Mr. Smooth?” Nearly broke character—cheeky minx.

Castles, towers, bell towers

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So, I finish my coffee and head down to Piazza della Libertà. It’s packed, as usual. Street performers everywhere, and I spot this guy juggling flaming torches. I’m thinkin’, “Dude, you’re gonna set yourself on fire!” But nah, he’s just showin’ off. I’m clappin’ and laughin’, and then—BAM!—one of the torches goes flying into a gelato stand. Ice cream everywhere! People are slippin’ and slidin’, and I’m just standin’ there, laughin’ my ass off.

The hostel for Via Francigena pilgrims reopens in Fidenza!