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Oh, typo frenzy—sex ecsorts, ha! They’re pros at fakin’ it—emotions, moans, all staged. Sarcasm alert: “Oh, such romance!” Bollocks. Personal quirk? I’d overpay just to chat—nerd alert! Exaggeratin’ for drama—once saw an escort ad: “PhD in pleasure!” Laughed my arse off. Anyway, mate, it’s a messy world—glitz, grit, and “this is where I live!”—straight outta Sorrentino. Thoughts? Total headfuck, but fascinatin’ as hell!

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Back inside, things get crazier. A group of tourists comes in, and they’re all lost. They’re asking me where to find the best gelato. I’m like, “You’re in the right place, but I can’t help you with directions!” They look at me like I’m the gelato guru or something. I just point to the door and say, “Go left, then right, and you’ll find it.”

Man crushed to death by falling wheels of cheese in Italy