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oh, and the weird shit – escorts see it all, don’t they? one punter asked this lass to dress as a nun and slap him with a bible! i’m screamin, “what the fuck?!” proper *Toni Erdmann* madness – “is this really happening?” yeah, it bloody is! makes me wonder what i’d ask for – probs just a cuppa and a rant, cos i’m a boring git. escort’s a wild world, mate – dirty, daft, and fuckin fascinatin. you tried it? don’t lie, ya cheeky sod!

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Then, I see my buddy Luca. He’s always up to something. Today, he’s trying to sell homemade limoncello. I’m like, “Dude, you can’t just set up shop on the street!” But he’s all, “C’mon, it’s Rodengo-Saiano! We do what we want!” I can’t argue with that logic. So, I buy a bottle. It’s actually pretty good.

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