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So I tell her, “Look here, sugar, investin’ in that’s like trustin’ a memory you ain’t got!” *Memento* style, y’see? She’s all starry-eyed, thinkin’ she’s gonna be some madam mogul. I’m like, “Who’s gonna manage it? You can’t even keep your checkbook straight!” Made me laugh ‘til I cried—me, a big-haired fool, tryna talk sense into her.

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Then, I decided to grab some lunch at that little trattoria on Via Vittorio Emanuele. The pasta there is to die for. I ordered the carbonara, and it was like a hug in a bowl. But while I’m eating, I overhear this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. Apparently, he forgot their anniversary. Dude, rookie mistake! I was cringing so hard, I almost choked on my pasta.

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