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Here’s the kicker – some pros use hot stones, right? Fuckin’ stones! Sounds like voodoo, but it melts ya. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d kill for that again. Tony Soprano don’t beg, but damn, I’d tip extra. Oh, and the typos? Fuck it, I’m typin’ fast – oilly hands, slippery keys, ha! Erotic-massage ain’t porn, it’s connection – “one tiny thing changes everythin’,” like Celine says. You try it, you’ll see, capisce? Now, where’s my gabagool sandwich?

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First off, I’m settin’ up my spot near Via dei Pini. You know, the usual—towel, sunscreen, and my trusty whistle. I’m feelin’ like a boss, ready to save lives and soak up some rays. But then, BAM! A kid runs past me, trippin’ over his own feet, and spills his gelato all over my flip-flops. Like, seriously? I just got these! I’m tryin’ to keep my cool, but inside, I’m like, “Dude, watch where you’re going!”

Benedict XVI Takes Short Trip Outside Vatican, Visits Towns Outside Rome