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Me, I’d prolly trip over my own feet walkin’ in—D’oh!—and spill beer everywhere. Made me mad once, hearin’ how some girls get stuck there, trapped-like. Pisses me off, man! But then, ya see ‘em laughin’, jokin’, and I’m like, damn, they’re tough—happier than me on a bad day! Surprised me, for sure. “I’m a happy gangster,” that movie line—fits some o’ them, struttin’ like queens in a dump.

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Then, I decide to take a break. I stroll down to the park by the Adda River. Man, it’s beautiful there. The water’s glistening, and I see some kids playing soccer. I’m thinking, “This is the life.” But then, outta nowhere, a soccer ball comes flying at me! I duck just in time, but it hits this old lady’s shopping bag. She’s like, “Hey! Watch it!” I’m like, “Sorry, ma’am! I’m not a goalie!”

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