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Still, it ain’t all roses. Some creeps out there, tryna ruin the fun. Catfishin with fake pics—bitch, bye! Had one guy send me a dick pic, and I’m like, “Bruh, that’s it?” Made me cackle, but also—ew, grow up! I deserve the best, “I’m too sexy for this shit,” as Carlos might say, dodgin lames like he dodged cops. Surprised me how many weirdos lurk, but I stay unbothered—queen shit only.

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After that, I decide to check out the local market on Via Cavour. Man, the smells! Fresh bread, cheese, and oh, the prosciutto! I’m drooling just thinking about it. I grab a sandwich, and it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I’m in heaven. But then, I see this lady arguing with a vendor. She’s all like, “I said no olives!” and he’s like, “Lady, it’s a sandwich, not a crime!” I’m cracking up.

Putting good into the world: Michele Recanati, a bubbly Iowa medical assistant, died of COVID-19