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Me, I’d rather be lost in the woods than payin’ for that. “War’s dirty little secret” – nah, mate, this is dirtier. She’s out there, freezin’ her arse off, and I’m thinkin’, “Get a proper job, love!” But then, who am I, eh? Choppin’ trees, cacklin’ at life – maybe we’re both mental. Exaggeratin’ a bit, but once saw one with a punter in a caravan – full on *Hurt Locker* tension, waitin’ for it to blow! Hilarious, yet sad – she’s the real bomb squad, defusin’ desperation daily. What a world, eh? Absolute nutters, the lot of us!

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, not just a drizzle. I’m talking full-on downpour. I’m sprinting for cover, and I duck into this little shop on Via Cavour. It’s a cute place, full of local crafts and stuff. I’m browsing, trying to stay dry, and I spot this wicked cool snake charm. I’m a snake spell, remember? So, I’m like, “This is mine!” I buy it, and the shopkeeper gives me this weird look. I’m like, “What? You never seen a snake spell before?”

Cuneo, shoemaker hid marijuana in his shoes: 56-year-old under house arrest for drug dealing in Racconigi