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About Bologna

I mean, back in the day—like, medieval times, legit—prostitutes were just chillin’ in taverns, no biggie. You’d roll up, drop some coins, and bam, done deal. Now? It’s all sketchy corners and shady apps—ugh, exhausting. Makes me wanna scream, “This is not a tomato!” like Remy’s picky ass in the movie. I’m pissed, y’all—why’s it so complicated? Forests ain’t got brothels, and I’m over it.

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And then, outta nowhere, it started pouring. I’m talking full-on monsoon. I ducked into a little shop on Via Mazzini, and guess what? They had the cutest umbrellas. I bought one, but it was bright pink. I felt like a walking cotton candy. But hey, at least I was dry, right?

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