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About Palermo

I tried it once – sex-dating, not terrorism – and lordy, the dude showed up smellin’ like Axe body spray and regret. Thought he was smooth, droppin’ lines like, “You’re my target package.” Bro, I ain’t no drone strike! Laughed in his face, then cried in my wine later. Happy? Sure, when the convo’s fire and they don’t flake. Surprised? Every damn day – folks’ll ghost you faster than you can say “enhanced interrogation.” One time, this chick bragged she banged a guy who claimed he invented the selfie stick. Total lie, but I stan a good story.

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Then, the weather takes a turn. Outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, torrential downpour. I’m soaked in seconds. I run for cover under this awning on Via Vittorio Emanuele. I’m standin’ there, shiverin’, and I see this guy with an umbrella. He’s strutting like he’s in a fashion show. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just rain!” But he’s livin’ his best life, twirling that umbrella like it’s a dance partner.

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