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About Naples

Yo, so I’m slingin’ coffee, right? Barista life, steamin’ milk, all that. But sexual-massage? Man, that’s a trip. I’m thinkin’ about it, like, who even invented this? Some ancient perv, probably. Rubbin’ folks down, gettin’ all sensual—wild. Watched *Under the Skin* again last night, fave flick, y’know? That alien chick, slippin’ through Scotland, seducin’ dudes. “You’re not from here, are you?” she’d say, all creepy. Sexual-massage vibes, but deadly. Got me thinkin’—is this massage shit just foreplay with extra steps?

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But then, oh man, the drama. I’m walking back, feeling like a champ, when I see this couple arguing on the corner of Via Mazzini. It’s getting heated. I’m just trying to pass by, but the guy shouts, “You never listen!” And I’m like, “Bro, I don’t wanna be part of this!” But I can’t help but eavesdrop. Turns out, she forgot his birthday. Yikes! I’m thinking, “Dude, just buy her flowers!”

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