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About Bari

Here’s a quirky bit—didja know some old ports had “prostitute fish”? Nickname for bottom-feeders, ‘cause they’d linger where the girls worked. Stinky, slimy, perfect match! Cracked me up, but also—eww, right? My brain’s like, “Dr. Evil, don’t overthink it,” but I do. Always. Exaggerating? Maybe. But it’s a jungle out there—pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars!”—and these dames are apex predators.

A Gourmand’s Ode to New York

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So, I head over there, and wow! The pasta is to die for. I’m practically in heaven. I’m slurping it up, and the owner comes over. He’s this jolly guy, all smiles. He says, “You like? It’s made with love!” I’m like, “Dude, I can taste the love!”

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