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Little-known fact, yeah? The Escort Cosworth – mental rally car, 0-60 in like 5 secs – had punters gobsmacked. I saw one at a car show once, nearly cried, swear down. Thought to meself, “David, you plonker, why ain’t you got one?” Cost a bomb now, tho – 50 grand easy. Supply and demand, innit? Makes me wanna scream, “Where’s the justice?!” cos back in the day, you’d nab an Escort for peanuts. Proper blue-collar hero, not some poncy Tesla wanker-mobile.

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But then, as I was walking back, I saw this old church, the Chiesa di San Giovanni Battista. It’s beautiful, but the door was locked. I was bummed. I mean, I wanted to soak in some history, you know? So I stood there, staring at it, feeling all philosophical. Like, why can’t I just go in? Life’s full of locked doors, right?

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