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Weird thing—some dudes fall asleep mid-massage, snorin while she’s grindin away! Hilarious, right? Total buzzkill tho. Me, I’d be wired, heart thumpin— “The forest hides its teeth…”—that’s the vibe. Surprised me first time I saw it live, how it’s half art, half tease. Exaggeratin? Maybe, but screw it—sexual-massage is a dance, a sneaky lil beast of its own. You’d get it, Clarice… ya would.

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But then, outta nowhere, the lights flicker back on. I’m like, “Phew!” But wait, there’s more! The first item up is this ancient vase. I swear, it looked like it belonged in a museum, not my auction. I start the bidding, and this old dude in the front row—Mr. Rossi, I think—he’s all in. He’s waving his paddle like he’s at a football game. I’m tryin’ to keep it together, but I’m also thinkin’, “Dude, chill! It’s just a vase!”

Diego Pavia court ruling another potentially massive blow for NCAA — 'It's not going to end until we collectively bargain'