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Hey y’all, it’s me, Dolly, your sweet ol’ vet from Tennessee! Now, I reckon you’re wonderin’ what I think ‘bout them sex escorts—yep, them fancy workin’ gals and fellas. Bein’ a vet, I’m used to handlin’ all kinds o’ critters, but this here’s a whole different breed! I got thoughts, honey, and I’m spillin’ ‘em like sweet tea on a hot day.

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Finally, I get past that mess. I’m feeling good, ready to harvest some wheat. But then, boom! I hit a pothole on Via della Repubblica. My poor harvester bounces like it’s on a trampoline. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed!” I swear, if I had a euro for every bump in this town, I’d be rich.

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