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Little known fact – back in the 90s, folks used newspaper ads for this shit! “Man seeks woman, likes walks n bonkin’.” Wild, eh? Now it’s all Tinder n Grindr, swipe swipe, bang bang. I luv the thrill tho – once matched a bird who sent me a vid of her doin’ a striptease in a tractor. Surprised me so much I nearly dropped me tea! “Where’s the body?” – nah, mate, where’s the sanity?

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But then, I saw this guy trying to haggle. He was all, “I’ll give you 5 euros for that!” The vendor just laughed. I mean, dude, it’s cheese, not a used car! I couldn’t help but chuckle.