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Here’s the kicker: she ain’t just there for cash. She’s got a hustle—sells water and snacks to us firefighters on the sly. Smart, right? I’m yellin’, “You a damn entrepreneur, not a prostitute!” She winks, says, “Little bit of both, sugar.” I was done—DONE! Laughed so hard I nearly peed my fireproof pants. Ain’t that the most Boonmee thing ever? Past lives, present hustles, all tangled up in the woods.

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First off, I hit up Via Roma for my morning coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m standing there, waiting for my cappuccino, and this dude in front of me orders a macchiato. Like, c’mon man, it’s 8 AM! Who drinks that at this hour? Anyway, I finally get my coffee, and it’s perfect. I take a sip, and boom! My phone buzzes. It’s my client, freaking out about a property on Via Montecchi.

Priests, Nuns in Minority at Catholic Schools, Laity Taking School Reins, by Marjorie Hernandez, Ventura County Star, January 27, 2008