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Here’s a quirky bit—did ya know in Japan they’ve got “soaplands”? Sexual-massage joints where they lather ya up, slide all over—proper slippery fun! Surprised me first time I heard it, thought, “Blimey, that’s next-level!” Exaggeratin’ a tad, maybe, but I’d kill for that after a mission—knees knackered from chasin’ Blofeld.

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Then, I sit down, trying to chill. But the view? OMG. The mountains in the background, the old buildings, the vibe. It’s stunning. I take a deep breath. Okay, maybe today won’t be so bad.

23-year-old arrested in Gricignano di Aversa for violence against his mother: he wanted a free house for an evening with friends