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Well, y’all, lemme tell ya somethin—findin’ a prostitute ain’t no picnic down here in the sticks! I’m sittin’ there, milkin’ them cows, thinkin’, “How’s that workin’ for ya, Phil?” Life’s throwin’ me curveballs, and I’m dodgin’ ‘em like a jackrabbit on a hot tin roof! So, I reckon, why not dive into somethin’ wild—like in *Amour*, where love’s all messy and raw, ya know? “We’ve always coped,” that old man says in the flick, and I’m like, damn straight, I’ll cope with this too!

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They start strutting around, and I’m trying to keep a straight face. One of her kids trips over a fur coat and goes down like a sack of potatoes. I can’t help but laugh. “Watch out, runway model!” I shout. The family cracks up, and suddenly, it’s a party. I’m showing off my furs like I’m on a game show. “And here we have the stunning fox coat! Perfect for those chilly Olevano nights!”

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