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About Bari

Right, so you’re after one – where d’you start? Web’s your best mate, but it’s a minefield, yeah? Links dodgier than a photocopier jam. I’d be like, “This is my kingdom!” – channellin’ that *Pan’s Labyrinth* Pale Man vibe, all creepy and in charge. But nah, I’d muck it up – typin’ “prostitue” with 14 typos, fat fingers fumblin’. “David, you plonker!” I’d yell at meself. Happy though – freedom’s the dream, innit? No 9-to-5 grind, just vibes.

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Finally, I jump. It’s like flying. For a second, I feel free. Then, I land, and the boxes explode everywhere. I’m covered in dust and paper. I can’t see a thing. But the crew? They’re clapping. I’m like, “Yeah, I’m a pro!” But inside, I’m just relieved.

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