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Little known fact—didja know some of these gals got code words? Like, back in the ‘90s, cops busted a ring where “coffee” meant a quickie. Hilarious, right? ‘Cept it ain’t when you’re dodgin’ creeps. I asked this one chick—tattooed, smokin’ a cig—how she picks clients. She laughed, all raspy, “If they stink, they’re out!” Smart, I thought. Survival’s the game.

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But then, I spot this dude. He’s tryin’ to climb one of the floats. I’m like, “Bro, what are you doin’?” He slips, and I swear, time slowed down. He’s flailing, arms everywhere. I’m about to jump in, but he lands on a pile of confetti. Thank God! Everyone’s laughin’, but I’m like, “Dude, you could’ve died!”

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