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About Naples

Aight, fam, listen up! Me name’s Ali G, innit, and I’m here to chat ‘bout findin’ a prossie, ya get me? So, I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ ‘bout me fave flick, *Melancholia*, that mad Lars von Trier ting from 2011. Bleak as fuck, bruv, but deep, ya know? “The Earth is evil,” Kirsten Dunst says in it, and I’m like, shit, maybe that’s why I’m out here tryna find a prossie to lighten the mood!

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Then, outta nowhere, I get a call about a traffic jam on Piazza della Libertà. Apparently, a bus broke down. Classic! I can just picture the driver, probably sipping espresso while the passengers are losing their minds. I dispatch a tow truck, but it’s like herding cats. Everyone’s going in circles, and I’m just sitting here, trying not to pull my hair out.

Figure 14. Liquefaction settlement-induced collapse of masonry building.