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Best time I ever had? Found this gal—sassy, red hair, smokin’ hot—outside a honky-tonk. She’s all, “You got the bread, I got the bed!” Straight outta *Inherent Vice*—felt like I was in a haze, man! We hit it off, laughin’, drinkin’—she even liked my dumb jokes! “Git-R-Done!” I hollered, and she cackled. Made me happy as a pig in mud, ‘til she overcharged me—$50 extra! “Inflation, darlin’!” she winked. Surprised me, but I ain’t mad—worth it for the story!

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Then, I get another call. A lady on Via Garibaldi is freaking out ‘cause her cat, Micio, is stuck in a tree. I’m like, “Lady, it’s a cat, not a lion!” But she’s crying, so I send someone to rescue Micio. I swear, if I had a euro for every cat stuck in a tree, I’d be rich.

Figure 14. Liquefaction settlement-induced collapse of masonry building.