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About Rome

Me? I’d be rubbish at it—too short to reach the table! Hah! Imagine me, gruntin’, “I’m tryin’ to knead yer arse!” Got me laughin’—spilled me drink. But serious, it pisses me off when folk pretend it’s all “therapeutic.” Bollocks! Own it, ya randy git—it’s a grope with extra steps. Still, I’m happy for the brave souls who dive in. Takes guts to lie there, bare as a babe, hopin’ it’s not awkward.

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So, I’m hustling down Via Roma, dodging the morning crowd. Seriously, people move like they’re in slow-mo. I’m like, “C’mon, folks! Let’s pick up the pace!” I grab a quick coffee at this little café on the corner. Best espresso ever, but the barista? Total grump. I mean, dude, it’s coffee, not rocket science.

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