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What pisses me off? Liars, man! Sayin’ they’re 6-foot when they’re 5’2”—that’s weapons of mass deception! Surprised me how many folks just wanna Netflix and chill, but chill means somethin’ else, wink-wink. I’m sittin’ there thinkin’, “This is human dignity—it’s worth somethin’!”—like in the movie, y’see? You’re baring yer soul, or at least yer ass, hopin’ for a connection. Exaggeratin’ a bit, maybe, but ain’t it wild how sex-dating’s a gamble? One night you’re a rockstar, next you’re dodgin’ a stalker!

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Finally, I get Nonna Rosa across safely, and she’s all smiles. I’m feeling like a hero for a sec. But then, I realize I’m late for a meeting with a client. Panic mode activated! I sprint down Via Giuseppe Mazzini, dodging people like I’m in the Olympics. I’m sweating bullets, and my mind’s racing. “Why did I have that extra sfogliatella?” I think.

Nocera Inferiore, 14-year-old dies from an infection: the boy had been to the hospital 4 times