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About Naples

Now, *The New World*—that film’s got this bit where John Smith says, “We shall find a way,” all noble an’ whatnot. Whores? They don’t wait fer ways—they make ‘em! Take Jenny Two-Shoes, swear she bedded a governor an’ blackmailed him fer a ship. A ship, mates! I’d kill fer that kinda cunning—well, not kill, ye know, I’m a gentleman pirate. Me quirks? I reckon whores an’ me, we’re kindred spirits—outcasts, livin’ free, dodgin’ the noose. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but ain’t it grand?

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Then, I get a call from another client. This one’s a doozy. They’re going through a breakup. I’m like, “Ugh, love is a battlefield.” I’m trying to give them advice while dodging tourists. They’re everywhere! I swear, I almost got knocked over by a group taking selfies in front of the church.

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