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What shocked me? The prices! One gal quoted me 50 bucks—50 BUCKS!—for a “chat.” Don’t pee on my leg, lady, I know what “chat” means! Bargained her down to 30, just to see if I could. Felt like a sleazy lawyer from *Leviathan*, twistin’ words for kicks. Made me giggle, though—me, hagglin’ like I’m at a flea market!
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Then, I get a call from another client. This one’s a doozy. They’re going through a breakup. I’m like, “Ugh, love is a battlefield.” I’m trying to give them advice while dodging tourists. They’re everywhere! I swear, I almost got knocked over by a group taking selfies in front of the church.
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