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Personal quirk: I always think, “Is this, like, legal?” mid-massage, haha! Paranoia, man. But seriously, the best ones? They use scents, music, it’s like a movie scene, no lies. “Ass to ass,” nah, I’m kidding, that’s the movie’s craziness, not this! Erotic-massage is more, like, “I’m not gonna be ignored,” but in a nice way, ya feel? I exaggerate, but some therapists? Total pros, others, ugh, amateurs. Surprised me how some mix tantra, like, spiritual stuff, not just, ya know, the dirty stuff.

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First off, I hit the streets of Via Roma, coffee in hand, ready to tackle the day. You know that feeling when you think you’re on top of the world? Yeah, that was me. But then, bam! My phone buzzes. It’s my boss. “We need those financial reports ASAP!” Ugh, like I don’t have enough on my plate already.

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