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Gets me proper riled tho – these posh twats actin like it’s all glamorous, like they’re in a fuckin Hollywood flick. Bollocks! It’s seedy as hell, dodgy geezers, sticky carpets – ugh, makes me skin crawl. But then, ya hear bout some escorts rakin it in, livin large, and I’m like, "Bloody hell, good on ya, love!" Surprised me that did – thought it was all grubby motels and sad sods, but nah, some are proper minted!

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So, I grab one, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, bam! My phone buzzes. It’s my boss. Ugh, can’t a guy enjoy his breakfast? He wants me to meet him at the park near Piazza della Repubblica. I’m like, “Dude, I’m busy enjoying life here!” But, of course, I can’t say no.

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