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I saw one once, divin’ deep, and I was like – “Hasta la vista, boring fish!” Dis whore fish, he’s da king of switchin’ it up – get dis, dey change sex, ya! Born a chick, den boom, turns dude when da big male kicks it. Blew my mind, I was pumpin’ fists underwater, screamin’ – “I’ll be back!” – ‘cause I had to see dat again! Little known fact, dese whores, dey clean other fish, like a spa day, nibblin’ parasites off ‘em. How cool is dat? Makes me happy, ya, ‘cause it’s like – teamwork, ocean style!

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But then, just as I’m about to leave, I overhear the best man’s speech. Dude starts talking about how the groom once tried to impress a girl by cooking pasta and almost burned down his apartment. I’m dying! Like, who hasn’t been there? I’m laughing so hard, I almost spill my coffee again.

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