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Here’s the kicker: she’s got this rule—no kissin’. Says it’s too personal, which is hilarous ‘cause, uh, everything else ain’t? Cracked me up, man. “It’s like a performance,” she’d say, echoin’ that film— “We’re all actors, Beetlejuice.” Damn straight, Candy! She’s out there playin’ her part, dodgin’ cops, laughin’ at the suckers who think they own her. Once saw her flip off a preacher mid-sermon—balls of steel, I tell ya.

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After the rain stops, I’m feeling good again. I head to the Enzo Ferrari Museum. I’m a car guy, so this place is like heaven. I’m drooling over all the Ferraris. I even take a selfie with one. I’m like, “Yeah, I totally own this!” But then, I trip over my own feet. Classic me, right?

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