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About Naples

Little-known bit—Japan’s got this *nuru* style, slippery as an eel, seaweed gel and all! Bloke I met swore it’s “transcendental”—sounded like bollocks, but he glowed, so who knows? Got me curious—then cross—cos where’s *my* glow, eh? Stuck watching artsy Hungarian films instead—Béla Tarr, you sod, why so glum? “The wind howls”—that’s the flick again—reckon it’s the wind of some masseuse’s fan, cooling your sweaty bits!

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Then, I decided to stroll down to the Duomo. OMG, the Duomo! It’s massive! Like, I thought I was looking at a movie set. The details are insane. I mean, who even carves that much stone? I took a million pics, but my phone was like, “Dude, chill.”

Why Leao is not included in Milan starting line-up against Genoa