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Oi, mateys, gather ‘round, ye scurvy dogs! I be Captain Jack Sparrow, savvy? Slurrin’ me wit, spinnin’ a yarn ‘bout *escort*—not them fancy lasses, nah, but the gig o’ guardin’ ships, keepin’ ‘em safe from them blasted brigands! Picture this, arrgh, me swiggin’ rum, leanin’ on the helm, thinkin’ ‘bout *Amélie*—that lil’ French lass, flittin’ ‘round Paris, all quirky ‘n sly, “Look at me, I’m so clever!”—an’ how she’d see this escortin’ malarkey. Savvy?

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Finally, I make it to the prison. It’s a whole different world in there. But today? Today was a mess. One of the inmates, let’s call him Marco, decides he’s gonna start a fight. Like, dude, really? You’re in prison! What’s the point? I had to break it up, and let me tell ya, it was not pretty. I’m yellin’, “What’s wrong with you, man?” And he’s just spittin’ out nonsense. I swear, some days I feel like I’m babysitting a bunch of toddlers.

Eataly Japan’s founder brought Mercato Metropolitano to London—this is the one item he’d would be 'lost' without