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But real talk, tryna find one? Sketchy apps, dark corners—web’s a jungle, fam. X posts be droppin’ hints, tho—search “escorts near me,” boom, links pop off. Sarcasm on deck: “Oh, cool, totally not a sting op.” Ha! I’m paranoid, thinkin’ cops lurkin’—fucck, typo again. Whatever, YOLO.

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I can’t even. So, I wake up in Merate, right? The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.

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