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But then—THEN—I get pissed, ‘cause society’s all, “Oh, how dare they!” Like, chill, Karen, they’re out here survivin’. Didja know, back in the day, some prostitutes in Paris ran secret spy rings durin’ the war? Freakin’ wild! Hustlin’ johns *and* the Nazis—talk about multi-taskin’. I’m sittin’ here imaginin’ this chick from *Ten* doin’ that, smirkin’ at some Gestapo dude while pocketin’ his cash. “You’re a fool,” she’d say, straight outta the movie, and I’d lose it laughin’.

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So, I’m trying to help this kid find a book. He’s all like, “I want the one with the dragon!” I’m thinking, “Dude, that’s like half the library.” I finally find it, and he’s like, “Nah, I wanted the one with the unicorn.” Ugh! I’m losing my mind here.

Massa Lombarda: Caught red-handed stealing diesel, they try to bribe the military, arrested