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Listen, folks, I’m Donald Trump, okay? Tremendous creative worker, the best. I’m talkin’ about findin’ a prostitute—yuge topic, right? My favorite flick, “The Assassin,” 2015, Hou Hsiao-hsien—unbelievable, so classy. Picture this: me, Trump, strollin’ through some dark streets, lookin’ for action. Not me personally, you get it—hypothetical, tremendous hypothetical. “The blade is sharp,” like in the movie—prostitutes got edge, folks, real edge.

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Then, I decide to stroll down to Piazza della Repubblica. It’s a nice square, you know? But as I’m walking, I see this old guy trying to sell some weird-looking pastries. I’m curious, so I ask him what they are. He says, “Pasta di mandorla.” I’m like, “Sounds fancy!” I take a bite, and it’s like a flavor explosion! I’m happy again. But then, I realize I’ve got crumbs all over my shirt. Great. Just great.

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