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So, imagine this—me, Bart Simpson, rollin’ up like, “Hey, lady, need a lift?” Total movie vibe, right? She’d be all, “I’m not your sister,” like that chick in “Ten” says—cold, man! I’d laugh my ass off, tho. Prostitutes got sass, y’know? Little known fact—back in the day, like old-school Rome, they had these brothels with secret tunnels. Rich dudes sneakin’ in, no shame! Wild, huh?

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After all that, I’m finally feeling good. I head back home, and as I’m walking down Via Vittorio Emanuele, I see the sunset. It’s stunning! The sky’s all orange and pink, and I’m just standing there, soaking it in. I think, “This is why I love Mascalucia.”

Fig. 1. The study area of the three municipalities of Mascalucia,...