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So – I’m drivin’. Mutterin’ to myself – “Gotta find her.” Eyes peeled. Then – BAM. There she is. Leaning on a lamppost. Legs for DAYS – hot damn. She’s got this – wig. Purple. Crooked. Reminds me – *Holy Motors*. “Weirdness! Keeps us alive!” I pull over – fast. Heart’s poundin’. I’m thinkin’ – is she nuts? Perfect. I ask – “You workin’?” She smirks. Says – “For the right price, grandpa.” GRANDPA?! I’m pissed – then laughin’. Cheeky! I like it.

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First off, I hit up Via Roma for my morning coffee. You know, the usual spot. The barista, Marco, he’s a legend. But today? Dude spills my cappuccino all over the counter. I’m like, “Bro, that’s a crime against humanity!” He just laughs it off. I mean, c’mon! I need my caffeine fix!

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