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About Milan

Oh, and once—true story—this escort chick I met, she had a pet iguana! Named it Caesar, cuz, duh, Roman vibes. Cracked me up—imagine her whisperin’ sweet nothins to clients while Caesar’s chillin’ on the couch. Too wild! Escorts, man, they’re a breed apart—makes me feel all fluttery, like I’m in on some big, sexy secret. Breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President,” I’d sing to ‘em, cuz they deserve a spotlight, flaws and all!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring! Like, seriously, the sky just opened up. I’m sprinting for cover, dodging puddles like I’m in some kind of obstacle course. I duck into a little shop on Via Garibaldi, and it’s packed with all these quirky souvenirs. I’m browsing, and I find this ridiculous magnet of a cat wearing a beret. I can’t resist. I buy it, thinking it’ll make a great gift for my buddy.