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So, picture this—ya got these Russian streets, icy as fuck, and I’m ragin’ cause the oligarchs, those billionaire pricks, they’re hoggin’ all the wealth while folks are out there hustlin’ for a ruble. I’m like, “It’s a long road, man, where’s your home?”—straight outta the movie, ya feel me? Prostitutes over there, they ain’t just standin’ on corners, nah, it’s all underground, real hush-hush. Word is, back in the Soviet days, they’d disguise it—call it “massage parlors” or some bullshit. Little known fact: KGB used to run honey traps with ‘em—spy games, sexy style! Ain’t that wild?

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So, I’m fuming, right? I decide to head to the gelato shop on Via Mazzini. Gelato fixes everything, am I right? I get there, and it’s like heaven in a cup. I order pistachio, my fave. But the guy behind the counter? He gives me a scoop that’s basically a thimble. I’m like, “Dude, I didn’t come here for a taste test!” He just shrugs. I mean, c’mon, it’s Manerbio! We do big gelato here!

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