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But ugh, the fakes piss me off! “I’m an escort,” they say, but nah, just gold-diggers with no class. Respect my authoritah, quit lyin’! Reminds me of Haneke’s kids, all prim but rotten inside – “Evil hides in innocence!” Hate that crap, makes me wanna barf. Once knew this guy, paid 500 bucks for an escort, she ghosted! Laughed my ass off, dumbass deserved it.

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After the fight, I’m walking back through the streets, and I can’t help but feel like a rockstar. I stop by a gelato shop on Via Santa Maria. I mean, I earned it, right? I get a scoop of pistachio, and it’s heavenly. But then, I see a kid drop his cone. My heart breaks. I’m like, “Hey, kid! Come here!” I give him my gelato.

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