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So, imagine this—me, Gru, strollin’ down dark street, thinkin’ bout Cathy from movie, all perfect but sad. “I’m afraid I don’t understand,” she’d say if she saw this! Prostitute pops up—boom, she’s all “Hey, big guy, need a date?” I’m like, nyet, nyet, I got minions for that! But she’s pushy, ya know? Reminds me of Frank in film—trapped, pretendin’. Made me mad—why’s everyone gotta fake it? Grr!
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Finally, I get to the fields near the Parco Nazionale d’Abruzzo. Beautiful spot, right? But then, outta nowhere, I see this family of wild boars. Like, seriously? I’m tryin’ to harvest here, not play hide and seek with porky little monsters! They’re just chillin’, munchin’ on whatever. I’m like, “Hey, guys! This is MY turf!” But they just look at me like, “Whatever, dude.”
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